Just because everything else I can think to talk about right now is serious in nature and I don't feel like being serious right now, let's go talk more football.
I got 10 of the 16 games predicted correctly. Considering this last week set a record for games decided by a touchdown or less, I'm going to declare this a win for me. Parity is the word; NFL is the league for it. It's kind of cool when every week, even though you "know" something about a team, a person can get surprised each and every time.
I want to give a shout out to the Bills and the Lions for being legit contenders this year. It's got a feel-good quality to it. I don't know anyone who hates either of these teams because neither of them have ever really been worth hating. Neither team has made the playoffs in this last decade, and the Lions hadn't really been a legitimate team since before the Super Bowl era while the Bills had that 4 year streak of making the Super Bowl just to lose each and every time. I'm a sucker for a good underdog story so seeing two perennial loser franchises at least off to a hot start makes great headlines.
Rather than gloat over which games I called correctly, let's pick apart where I missed the mark:
Cincinatti let me down. Maybe the new head coach in San Fran has that team working together fairly well, but still. Dalton had his first wake up call in the NFL... against the Niners? Weird. That team hasn't been a viable franchise since Alex Smith.
Philly let their QB get blown up again, and it looks like New York found they had a decent receiver in Victor Cruz. It's kind of fun watching the Eagles get dismantled with all the pre-season hype surrounding them. I have to give the Giants credit for playing solid football, too. They are going to sneak up on people because they don't win flashy, which as a Steelers fan I totally respect.
Looks like Matt Hasselbeck is trying to prove he's still got it. Guy is playing exceptional, especially for being 36,000 years old. There's no run game to speak of for the Titans (seriously, Mr. I'm Going To Hold Out Til I'm The Highest Paid Player In The League Chris Johnson, put up now). I knew that Denver was crappy, but I didn't know Tennessee had any kick. Also speaking of Denver, use Tebow in short yardage situations already. You've got the highest paid 3rd string QB in the league. He isn't the most accurate thrower in the league, so use him as an H-Back in short yardage or goal-line situations because it serves the purpose of helping your team and making your fan base happy.
Oakland, who'da thunk? I know McFadden is deliriously good, but I'd have balked at the notion any team was going to have 100+ yards running against the Jets. It was beautiful to watch, even though it made me wrong this week. Easily the most exciting game I watched all weekend.
Hey, you remember when Arizona traded away it's only legitimately good defensive player to get a Quarterback hailed as the savior of this franchise? I still think that was the dumbest, dumbest thing they could have done. It looks like the team is still going to fail hard and have the opportunity to draft one of the handful of pro prospect QBs coming up next year. How can you only put up 10 points against Seattle?! I mean, I know there's the whole 12th man thing and all playing the Seahawks at home but it was just ugly, ugly offense on the part of the Cardinals.
Tony "I Can Regenerate Limbs" Romo played well enough to not lose them the game. I give him all sorts of credit for hanging in there with a busted up rib and still getting 255 yards against a fairly solid defense. Still, if it wasn't for a bungled snap on a field goal on the part of Washington, the Redskins would have won. Huge win for the Cowboys, huge loss for the 'Skins.
Picks for week 4:
Chicago over Carolina - As great as Newton has played, Carolina's defense isn't very good. I expect Cutler to show up and play well this week.
Buffalo over Cincinatti - The Bills are circling the wagons, and the Bungles are still in rebuilding mode. Easy call here.
Tennessee over Cleveland - Time for me to not hate on the Titans so bad. Browns are still out their best running back so I don't know if they'll be able to get it going offensively.
Detroit over Dallas - Dallas is still banged up, while Detroit has the chance of getting back their legit rookie D-linesman Nick Fairley.
Houston over Pittsburgh - I don't even want to talk about this one because it's painful picking against your own team. Pitt almost lost to the friggin' Clots, one of the worst teams in the league this year. Houston has an explosive offense and any defense can get a pick off Roethlisburger so I think Houston in a landslide.
New Orleans over Jacksonville - Easy call here. The real question becomes how badly will the Saints destroy the Jags, because this one shouldn't be pretty.
Minnesota over Kansas City - Even Minnesota won't blow a 20 point lead going into the half against Kansas City.
Philadelphia over San Francisco - No way the Eagles can afford to drop this game. San Fran is playing pretty well for the Niners but they are still a pretender team this year.
Washington over St. Louis - Redskins are solid, St. Louis is totally decimated in terms of injuries. I kind of feel bad for the Rams, really.
New York Giants over Arizona - Arizona couldn't beat Seattle for crying out loud. Besides, Western teams tend not to play well out East so I'd have taken a solid Giants team over even a good Cardinals team due to home field advantage.
Atlanta over Seattle - Is it sad I don't feel comfortable with this pick? The Falcons are not playing solid football this year. Still, talent wise, they are the better team on nearly every position.
Green Bay over Denver - It's a win for Denver if Tebow touches the football. Only way they garner any sort of favor with their fans, because the Packers are gonna win big.
Oakland over New England - I'm calling it! I'm calling the upset. New England's defense is made out of butter so as long as McFadden stays healthy, he'll have another big game. Typically, teams with running backs dominating control the clock and the longer the ball is out of Brady's hands, the more of a chance Oakland has of pulling this off.
Miami over San Diego - Chargers are playing so damn soft, and Miami's players are fighting to keep a head coach around. Henne wants to stay in the NFL so he'll need a big game.
Baltimore over New York Jets - Jets still look banged up while Baltimore is firing on all cylinders. Both teams need this win to prove they are legit. I expect a close one.
Tampa Bay over Indianapolis - Indy is ranked 31th on the power rankings NFL.com put out this week. They are that bad. Tampa Bay is at home, too, so that should help the young line up rev up and play their best. Oh, and it's Monday Night. Home team advantage, check.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Two weeks in: NFL Predictions now and how they stack up to my initial beliefs
I feel pretty confident in what I said before the season started! It's almost like I know something.
Okay, so I just got lucky. Deal with it.
DIVISION BREAKDOWN:
AFC East - Looks like the New England Bradys are rolling. I know Tom Brady is good, but geezy chreezy. It's insane what kind of offensive numbers they are putting up in Beantown this year. The Jets, whom I predicted to win that division, also look pretty good but the problem is they aren't healthy right now. If they drop a number of games because their linesman are all banged up, it'll definitely put a crimp on my pre-season predictions.
And hows about them Bills? Looks like Buffalo is circling the wagons pretty legit right now. Fitzpatrick had a handful of really good games last year, but he's looking like a pro bowl candidate right now. It'll be awesome if they make it to the playoffs. We could be seeing both the wild card slots in the AFC go to AFC East teams at this rate, especially because the rest of the AFC divisions seem really weak this year. I know I'm rooting for them to play well; just not well enough to beat the Jets for top spot in the division! (I like to be right.)
AFC North - My football friends here in St. George tell me I really need to let week one's total beatdown of my Steelers go, but it's really hard. Ever have your team drop a 35 to 7 blowout AT HOME to the only legitimate division rival you have? It's not a good feeling. However, Steelers went to shut out the Seahawks, while the Ravens dropped a game to the flippin' Tennessee Titans and their 400 year old quarterback. I'm hoping that means week 1 was a fluke.
Cincinatti is looking better than I thought they would. Gotta give props to my red-headed love child Andy Dalton. I predicted he'd be the best QB long-term out of those taken in this year's draft because he was a baller for TCU, a team the media gave no credit to simply because they weren't in a BCS auto-bid conference. (He hasn't thrown an INT yet and has been extremely efficient. Only reason he's not talked about more often is because Cam Newton is throwing for a bajillion yards a game.) I also like how college football analysts are in love with Andrew Luck and give Kellen Moore no credit as a legit NFL prospect. Not to take away from Luck, who is straight baller himself, but seriously. Boise State is the real deal, Kellen Moore is the real deal, and the BCS should change it's name to the BSC: Bull Shit Crooks.
AFC South - Wow, what a mess this entire division is. Seriously. The Clots are horrendous, the Jags are still in rebuilding mode as they have been since Tom Coughlin left, and Tennessee can't run the ball despite having one of the best RBs in the game. I will be totally shocked if Houston doesn't win that division this year as they are the only legit team. Honestly, they might be the only one in their division to finish above .500 win percentage.
AFC West - Told you this would be an interesting division, and I told you the Raiders were legit. That Darren McFadden kid is ridiculous. Jason Campbell is doing a good enough job quarterbacking they'll be in every game this year, even if they don't win all of them.
The Chargers are up to the same old shenanigans, too. They are clearly the most talented team in the division from top to bottom, and they can't seem to win a game. It's quite sad, and really frustrating as a fan. I hope they can figure it out, but at this point the only team in the entire division playing well is Oakland. Kansas City looks like turd of the league and Denver's fans would rather lose games behind their third string than give their starter the benefit of the doubt. Totally disfunctional.
NFC East - I dub this division Injury Central. The Giants might as well be starting Pop Warner players because of how often their guys go down with injury. Hell, two guys tried faking an injury at the same time. It's like they wanted to jump on the bandwagon of the other teammates who are legitimately out for the season.
Vick of the Eagles got concussed in a freak accident last week. Total shame, because I was looking to him play well this year. He'll still start this week but if he's going to suffer brain injury while in the pocket doing what QBs are supposed to do, I don't see him lasting the whole year scrambling as only he can pull off so well.
And what is this Wolverine-like regenerative ability Tony Romo's lungs have? He goes out with a busted rib and A HOLE IN HIS FRIGGIN' LUNGS for an impressive come from behind win against the Niners, and reports are the lung has already healed up. No wonder everyone says he's tough: He's a super mutant. When Romo sprouts admanatium claws mid-game and shanks a foo, make sure you let people know you heard it here first.
Looks like I have to eat my words about the Redskins, too. Remember when Grossman was laughed at by all members of the sports media for saying he felt his team could win this division this year? I was one of those nay-sayers, but I got to give the DC Boys some props. They are playing solid football, and Grossman is looking more like he did when he led the Bears to a super bowl than he has since he led the Bears to a super bowl. With all the injuries to the other teams, they are looking like they might steal into the playoffs with a divisional championship this year. Craziness. Vick's brain is currently paste, Romo's adamantium ribs are sticking into his lungs, and Eli Manning is throwing to high school kids. They have the best air attack in that division? Are you kidding me?
NFC North - Looks like this is on track to be the division to beat. Minnesota is the only weak link out there, as McNabb looks like just about the worst QB in the league at this point. Chicago's O-line is terrible and yet they still find ways to win games so I give props where it's due.
And good grief, Detroit and Green Bay are rolling teams. I can't wait for them to play each other. I hope there's 17,000 sacks that game. Seriously, Detroit is my dark horse to win the Lombardi trophy this year and you can't count out the returning champs. It's exciting football.
NFC South - Carolina is still a bad team, but how about that Cam Newton? Sure he's turning the ball over a lot, but 420+ yards back to back for a ROOKIE. Totally insane, especially considering one of those games was against the returning champs. Absolutely not going to win even 6 games this year, but it's pretty exciting. That team has a bright future with this kid at the helm. Build around him and look out, they'll be like Detroit in 3 or 4 years.
Saints are still looking dominant. Falcons haven't shown up this year, though. I recall hearing a weird statistic that Atlanta hadn't had two back to back winning seasons in like ever until just this past two years, so maybe that trend picks back up. Tampa Bay looks alright, so we'll see if they can win against Atlanta this weekend.
NFC West - Told you this division would be difficult to predict. Looks like Arizona is back to form, though. Kolb has played really good, and unlike their guy last year, he can actually get the ball into the hands of Larry Fitzgerald. You wouldn't think that'd be a difficult thing to do as Larry has the best hands in the sport.
Seattle's offense is looking atrocious so they aren't going to be as competitive as I thought. The Rams look okay at times, but they are without their star RB now so I don't see them repeating even the 7-9 season they had last year. The Niners are actually looking fairly legit, though, as they won in impressive fashion week 1 and if it wasn't for Wolverine coming back into the game, they probably would have beat the Cowboys. It's a division to keep your eyes on, at the very least.
Week 2 predictions:
Buffalo over New England - Pats are a scoring machine but their defense "can't stop a nose bleed." The 15 game losing streak is snapped this Sunday.
Carolina over Jacksonville - I expect yet another 400+ yard game for Newton.
Cincinatti over San Francisco - I'm telling you guys, Dalton is legit.
Cleveland over Miami - The Browns have a really solid D and I just don't see Miami breaking the hump this year.
Detroit over Minnesota - McNabb is gonna get a face full of Suh this weekend and it'll be glorious pain and obliteration.
New Orleans over Houston - You don't beat the Saints in the Super Dome. Sorry, Texas.
Philadelphia over New York Giants - Vick might be concussed, but the Giants are throwing to little kids.
Denver over Tennessee - I am selling all my Titans stock, despite their impressive win against the Ravens last week.
New York Jets over Oakland - This was difficult to choose, actually. I think this is game of the week. Still, I think the Jets squeak it out despite a beat up O-line.
San Diego over Kansas City - I'd pick the Dixie Red Storm over Kansas City right now. Team is awful.
Baltimore over St. Louis - No way the Ravens drop two weeks in a row to bad teams.
Green Bay over Chicago - Chicago's offensive line won't stop the blitzing you know Green Bay is gonna throw at them.
Arizona over Seattle - Time to see what Kolb and Fitzy-Fitzgerald can do against a bad secondary.
Tampa Bay over Atlanta - Just don't see that spark in the Falcons this year.
Pittsburgh over Indianapolis - A team with no offensive continuity can't beat Troy Palomalu and the Steelers.
Washington over Dallas - Dallas' X-Man of a quarterback isn't going to play this week if the Cowboys are any sort of smart, and Washington is hungry.
Okay, so I just got lucky. Deal with it.
DIVISION BREAKDOWN:
AFC East - Looks like the New England Bradys are rolling. I know Tom Brady is good, but geezy chreezy. It's insane what kind of offensive numbers they are putting up in Beantown this year. The Jets, whom I predicted to win that division, also look pretty good but the problem is they aren't healthy right now. If they drop a number of games because their linesman are all banged up, it'll definitely put a crimp on my pre-season predictions.
And hows about them Bills? Looks like Buffalo is circling the wagons pretty legit right now. Fitzpatrick had a handful of really good games last year, but he's looking like a pro bowl candidate right now. It'll be awesome if they make it to the playoffs. We could be seeing both the wild card slots in the AFC go to AFC East teams at this rate, especially because the rest of the AFC divisions seem really weak this year. I know I'm rooting for them to play well; just not well enough to beat the Jets for top spot in the division! (I like to be right.)
AFC North - My football friends here in St. George tell me I really need to let week one's total beatdown of my Steelers go, but it's really hard. Ever have your team drop a 35 to 7 blowout AT HOME to the only legitimate division rival you have? It's not a good feeling. However, Steelers went to shut out the Seahawks, while the Ravens dropped a game to the flippin' Tennessee Titans and their 400 year old quarterback. I'm hoping that means week 1 was a fluke.
Cincinatti is looking better than I thought they would. Gotta give props to my red-headed love child Andy Dalton. I predicted he'd be the best QB long-term out of those taken in this year's draft because he was a baller for TCU, a team the media gave no credit to simply because they weren't in a BCS auto-bid conference. (He hasn't thrown an INT yet and has been extremely efficient. Only reason he's not talked about more often is because Cam Newton is throwing for a bajillion yards a game.) I also like how college football analysts are in love with Andrew Luck and give Kellen Moore no credit as a legit NFL prospect. Not to take away from Luck, who is straight baller himself, but seriously. Boise State is the real deal, Kellen Moore is the real deal, and the BCS should change it's name to the BSC: Bull Shit Crooks.
AFC South - Wow, what a mess this entire division is. Seriously. The Clots are horrendous, the Jags are still in rebuilding mode as they have been since Tom Coughlin left, and Tennessee can't run the ball despite having one of the best RBs in the game. I will be totally shocked if Houston doesn't win that division this year as they are the only legit team. Honestly, they might be the only one in their division to finish above .500 win percentage.
AFC West - Told you this would be an interesting division, and I told you the Raiders were legit. That Darren McFadden kid is ridiculous. Jason Campbell is doing a good enough job quarterbacking they'll be in every game this year, even if they don't win all of them.
The Chargers are up to the same old shenanigans, too. They are clearly the most talented team in the division from top to bottom, and they can't seem to win a game. It's quite sad, and really frustrating as a fan. I hope they can figure it out, but at this point the only team in the entire division playing well is Oakland. Kansas City looks like turd of the league and Denver's fans would rather lose games behind their third string than give their starter the benefit of the doubt. Totally disfunctional.
NFC East - I dub this division Injury Central. The Giants might as well be starting Pop Warner players because of how often their guys go down with injury. Hell, two guys tried faking an injury at the same time. It's like they wanted to jump on the bandwagon of the other teammates who are legitimately out for the season.
Vick of the Eagles got concussed in a freak accident last week. Total shame, because I was looking to him play well this year. He'll still start this week but if he's going to suffer brain injury while in the pocket doing what QBs are supposed to do, I don't see him lasting the whole year scrambling as only he can pull off so well.
And what is this Wolverine-like regenerative ability Tony Romo's lungs have? He goes out with a busted rib and A HOLE IN HIS FRIGGIN' LUNGS for an impressive come from behind win against the Niners, and reports are the lung has already healed up. No wonder everyone says he's tough: He's a super mutant. When Romo sprouts admanatium claws mid-game and shanks a foo, make sure you let people know you heard it here first.
Looks like I have to eat my words about the Redskins, too. Remember when Grossman was laughed at by all members of the sports media for saying he felt his team could win this division this year? I was one of those nay-sayers, but I got to give the DC Boys some props. They are playing solid football, and Grossman is looking more like he did when he led the Bears to a super bowl than he has since he led the Bears to a super bowl. With all the injuries to the other teams, they are looking like they might steal into the playoffs with a divisional championship this year. Craziness. Vick's brain is currently paste, Romo's adamantium ribs are sticking into his lungs, and Eli Manning is throwing to high school kids. They have the best air attack in that division? Are you kidding me?
NFC North - Looks like this is on track to be the division to beat. Minnesota is the only weak link out there, as McNabb looks like just about the worst QB in the league at this point. Chicago's O-line is terrible and yet they still find ways to win games so I give props where it's due.
And good grief, Detroit and Green Bay are rolling teams. I can't wait for them to play each other. I hope there's 17,000 sacks that game. Seriously, Detroit is my dark horse to win the Lombardi trophy this year and you can't count out the returning champs. It's exciting football.
NFC South - Carolina is still a bad team, but how about that Cam Newton? Sure he's turning the ball over a lot, but 420+ yards back to back for a ROOKIE. Totally insane, especially considering one of those games was against the returning champs. Absolutely not going to win even 6 games this year, but it's pretty exciting. That team has a bright future with this kid at the helm. Build around him and look out, they'll be like Detroit in 3 or 4 years.
Saints are still looking dominant. Falcons haven't shown up this year, though. I recall hearing a weird statistic that Atlanta hadn't had two back to back winning seasons in like ever until just this past two years, so maybe that trend picks back up. Tampa Bay looks alright, so we'll see if they can win against Atlanta this weekend.
NFC West - Told you this division would be difficult to predict. Looks like Arizona is back to form, though. Kolb has played really good, and unlike their guy last year, he can actually get the ball into the hands of Larry Fitzgerald. You wouldn't think that'd be a difficult thing to do as Larry has the best hands in the sport.
Seattle's offense is looking atrocious so they aren't going to be as competitive as I thought. The Rams look okay at times, but they are without their star RB now so I don't see them repeating even the 7-9 season they had last year. The Niners are actually looking fairly legit, though, as they won in impressive fashion week 1 and if it wasn't for Wolverine coming back into the game, they probably would have beat the Cowboys. It's a division to keep your eyes on, at the very least.
Week 2 predictions:
Buffalo over New England - Pats are a scoring machine but their defense "can't stop a nose bleed." The 15 game losing streak is snapped this Sunday.
Carolina over Jacksonville - I expect yet another 400+ yard game for Newton.
Cincinatti over San Francisco - I'm telling you guys, Dalton is legit.
Cleveland over Miami - The Browns have a really solid D and I just don't see Miami breaking the hump this year.
Detroit over Minnesota - McNabb is gonna get a face full of Suh this weekend and it'll be glorious pain and obliteration.
New Orleans over Houston - You don't beat the Saints in the Super Dome. Sorry, Texas.
Philadelphia over New York Giants - Vick might be concussed, but the Giants are throwing to little kids.
Denver over Tennessee - I am selling all my Titans stock, despite their impressive win against the Ravens last week.
New York Jets over Oakland - This was difficult to choose, actually. I think this is game of the week. Still, I think the Jets squeak it out despite a beat up O-line.
San Diego over Kansas City - I'd pick the Dixie Red Storm over Kansas City right now. Team is awful.
Baltimore over St. Louis - No way the Ravens drop two weeks in a row to bad teams.
Green Bay over Chicago - Chicago's offensive line won't stop the blitzing you know Green Bay is gonna throw at them.
Arizona over Seattle - Time to see what Kolb and Fitzy-Fitzgerald can do against a bad secondary.
Tampa Bay over Atlanta - Just don't see that spark in the Falcons this year.
Pittsburgh over Indianapolis - A team with no offensive continuity can't beat Troy Palomalu and the Steelers.
Washington over Dallas - Dallas' X-Man of a quarterback isn't going to play this week if the Cowboys are any sort of smart, and Washington is hungry.
Friday, September 9, 2011
NERD RAGE!
Remember when customer service was good?
Me neither. I didn't live in the golden era of gas station attendants. All my life, a bunch of people just in it for a paycheck frequently ignored the needs and desires of customers. And for what? I don't even know.
I'm ranting about this because I pre-ordered Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine off THQ's website. The game came out Tuesday. It still isn't here today, and to top it off, the product tracker is no longer working. I checked it yesterday, and it shipped from a warehouse in Indiana ON Tuesday. You would think it'd be here by now.
I hate how the video game industry has universally adapted a "Buy it before it's out!" model. I blame GameStop for this, mostly. Back when that type of service was introduced, it actually mattered. Gaming wasn't as big as it is now so reserving yourself a copy of a huge title to avoid gigantic lines was pretty awesome. However, with as large as the video game industry in, guaranteeing yourself a copy on the first day of release is no longer necessary. In fact, the only times it's worth it is if you're trying to get your hands on some indie game title, something with a limited release as it's not expected to do all that well.
Because it's just expected people are going to pre-order the game they want, it no longer carries with it any sort of responsibility on the part of the store. Think about it. I dropped nearly $100 bucks on a game three weeks ago, and it's not in my hands despite it going out to the general public on Tuesday. Total nonsense. You think they'd be able to ship my copy of the game along with the hundreds of other copies which arrived at Best Buy, Wal-Mart, GameStop and any other brick-and-mortar store which sells electronics.
I want to be REWARDED as a customer for being loyal and excited about that company's products. It only makes sense. The people you want to keep happy are the ones who will willingly come back for more. Bioware has done an excellent job of that over the years. THQ? Not so much.
So my plans for this weekend are a tad on the ruined side. I was going to sit in my room and fight off the enemies of humanity as an 8 foot tall super-human. Looks like it's back to Rock Band.
Me neither. I didn't live in the golden era of gas station attendants. All my life, a bunch of people just in it for a paycheck frequently ignored the needs and desires of customers. And for what? I don't even know.
I'm ranting about this because I pre-ordered Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine off THQ's website. The game came out Tuesday. It still isn't here today, and to top it off, the product tracker is no longer working. I checked it yesterday, and it shipped from a warehouse in Indiana ON Tuesday. You would think it'd be here by now.
I hate how the video game industry has universally adapted a "Buy it before it's out!" model. I blame GameStop for this, mostly. Back when that type of service was introduced, it actually mattered. Gaming wasn't as big as it is now so reserving yourself a copy of a huge title to avoid gigantic lines was pretty awesome. However, with as large as the video game industry in, guaranteeing yourself a copy on the first day of release is no longer necessary. In fact, the only times it's worth it is if you're trying to get your hands on some indie game title, something with a limited release as it's not expected to do all that well.
Because it's just expected people are going to pre-order the game they want, it no longer carries with it any sort of responsibility on the part of the store. Think about it. I dropped nearly $100 bucks on a game three weeks ago, and it's not in my hands despite it going out to the general public on Tuesday. Total nonsense. You think they'd be able to ship my copy of the game along with the hundreds of other copies which arrived at Best Buy, Wal-Mart, GameStop and any other brick-and-mortar store which sells electronics.
I want to be REWARDED as a customer for being loyal and excited about that company's products. It only makes sense. The people you want to keep happy are the ones who will willingly come back for more. Bioware has done an excellent job of that over the years. THQ? Not so much.
So my plans for this weekend are a tad on the ruined side. I was going to sit in my room and fight off the enemies of humanity as an 8 foot tall super-human. Looks like it's back to Rock Band.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Don't talk anymore.
It's no secret I'm a manic depressive person. Sometimes, the weight of how low I feel is so crushing on my soul I contemplate suicide. I see my brains splattered on sidewalks near tall buildings, or my guts impaled on otherwise non-lethal objects, or a million other things just walking through the day. The only safe haven is under the covers in my room, because even though I've tried to suffocate myself with my own pillow before, it's pretty much impossible so I haven't tried it since that one time. I just shut myself in and panick the entire night long til my body gives up.
For the record, it's incredibly PHYSICALLY painful. It's not just mental. I woke up this morning and it felt like I my kidneys had shut down. I had fever-like symptoms despite not having a virus, and I know it's not an actual fever because I feel fine right now.
I tell you this so you guys understand what I go through. When I ask you if you wanna hang out and talk for even just a little bit, it's desperation. I attempt the best I can to hide how much I need that human contact, and pretend to play by the rules of society but at the end of the day, I'm not well when I'm turned down so often. How many of you who've actually spent time with me in any capacity have regretted it this year? These insecurities melt away as soon as someone says "Oh yeah that'd be fun to hang out!" Which rarely happens, but the very few times it does, I absolutely feel ecstatic.
A lot of people have given me a bunch of hollow advice the last few days. And to be honest, most of it has made me feel even worse about things. I'm going to go over a lot of the common "helpful advice" clichés and tell you why they don't work on me.
1) Everything happens for a reason.
If there's any one phrase you shouldn't utter around me, it's this one. Everything happens. That's the truth. And there are always consequences and results of any given thing that happens. This saying is based on the myth that current trials and tribulations somehow equate to future happiness through mysterious mystical means. I don't buy that for a moment, and never have. God's plan is not "This kid is going to be beside himself with grief and doubt to the point of wishing I'd let him die in his sleep, because it'll make him appreciate the good times more, so he'll eventually be happier than anyone else could be." That's not how it works, and I'm tired of people telling me that's how it works.
2) Keep up the faith/hope.
Why on earth would I want to show the attributes that lead to my very, very, very sour moods? A lot of people think I'm a pessimist, but that's because I'm more vocal about when I'm unhappy than when I'm happy. That is a problem I should work on, but we'll save that discussion for another time. I'm actually quite optimistic. I believe in other people. I believe if you challenge others with their shortcomings, the vast majority of them will rise up and turn weaknesses into strengths. There are so many people who probably think I hate them or think they are stupid, but I seriously love everyone. That's why when that optimism is never rewarded I have such hard crashes. I feel like a puppy waiting for the owner to come home from vacation a lot of the time. I wait at the door and keep thinking "Maybe today! We can have fun! I get to spend time with the people I love and adore!" But, it so rarely works out that way. The fact I spend so long waiting and hoping and praying and it never, ever works out the way I believe it should crushes me. I'm a pessimist because I'm an optimist most of the time.
3) Oh, that person just wasn't right for you / You deserve better friends.
Absolutely hurts to hear this crap. It's crap, and the people who say it are facetious little deviant monsters for suggesting it. How dare you insult my judgment of character. By telling me that other person isn't right for me, you're saying that about yourself. I see things in people that no one else sees. Like I said, I really believe in the human spirit and it's power for kindness. Ask me sometime what I really think about you, even if you're someone I rarely talk to. Please. I dare you. You'll be shocked to find out how much I care about you, I guarantee it. By telling me I deserve better friends, you're just setting me up to be disappointed in you for not rising up to be that friend yourself. Every time someone tells me I need better friends, they inevitably decline my invites to spend time together. Hypocrisy doesn't suit anyone.
And a bunch of people want me to talk. Hell no. I don't want to talk about my problems, are you kidding me? I'm sure it'll come up if we have a long enough conversation, but I'd rather just talk about something else entirely. Let's talk football. Let's talk video games. Let's talk about beautiful women. Let's talk movies. Let's talk about your friends. Let's talk about your dramas. Let me focus on ANYTHING other than myself, please. That's why I'm always so desperate to get out of my house, to get out of my own head, to hang out with other people. My problems totally go away if I can concentrate on yours. If I can feel like I matter to you, then it all melts away and I feel at peace.
At the end of the day, the reason I feel so miserable all the time is an extremely low sense of self worth. I believe I have value and I can make the lives of other people better, and the fact absolutely no one seems to want that is slowly killing me.
One final thing: Don't think that just because you read my statuses on facebook or even read my blog that you are a part of my life. If you're just networked friends with me, then you don't friggin' matter and I hope you do me a favor and remove me from your network. If you're a friend on facebook, that means I believe we are friends. That means if you ask a favor of me, I will do everything in reasonable commendations to help out. It means I expect you to occasionally respond if I text you. It means I want you in my life, in a real tangible way. If you tell me "Oh I would be really sad if you were gone. I always read what you have to say" or some other such total bullshit, I'm angry at you. You might feel connected to me, but I don't feel connected to you. You gotta talk to me. You can't passively be a part of my life. That's not the way things work.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
NFL Predictions for 2012
I love football. I almost wept tears of joy when the lockout was ended. (Almost. I am emotionally dead inside, after all.) And I've actually watched a fair bit of preseason football for the first time in my sports fan life.
Here's my predictions for this upcoming season by division.
AFC East:
Miami is still down. They'll be lucky to get 6 wins. I actually think Buffalo is the better team at this point. Poor Miami Tuna fans.
The Pats are predicted to win the division with 12+ wins according to Vegas oddsmakers and ESPN talking heads, but I'm confident the Jets will win the division this year. I dunno why, but something about the Patriots just feels off this year. It's not the dropped balls in pre-season. It's just the signings and trades they've made. It smells somewhat desperate.
AFC North:
I'd like to predict the Steelers are going to win the division. Because they are. It's not just because I'm a fan. The difference between the Steelers and Ravens is the Steelers have a legit wide receiver core and the Ravens have Anquan Boldin. I don't want to take away from Boldin (toughest player in the NFL) but he's all they have. They lost their Mormon at tight end (oddly, to be replaced by another Mormon guy) and Derrick Mason is gone.
Cincinatti is going to be garbage this year. I feel bad for Andy Dalton, who I think could make a solid NFL quarterback. Coming in this season of all seasons and immediately being expected to change the franchise is near impossible, though.
I think people will need to pay attention to the Browns this year. Solid run game, and Colt McCoy is just a winner. Kid is seriously good. I think their sine wave of badness is about to swing back up. I genuinely think it's possible to are a 7-9, possibly 8-8 team this year. No joke.
AFC South:
Indianapolis has had a lock on this division since Peyton Manning got drafted. Thing is, he might miss games or at the very least parts of games due to his recovering neck. They are a 3-11 team with Painter or Collins under center.
That leaves the Titans, Jaguars and Texans. Of those teams, the Texans are the only ones who've demonstrated flashes of brilliance the last few seasons. Titans are running a new scheme too, so they won't be much of a threat. The Jags just lack any sort of cohesiveness. They haven't been a legit team since they made the playoffs a couple years back.
AFC West:
I think this is going to be the most interesting division this year. I don't know what I'm going to get out of any of the teams in it. They are all so wildly inconsistent. The only thing I feel safe with is proclaiming the Broncos to be the turds of that division this year (sorry to all my Denver fans). On paper, the Chargers should dominate. On paper.
I am going out on a limb and saying the Raiders are going to win the AFC West. Crazy, right? They were undefeated inside their own division last year, though. If they make it to .500, I think they've won the division. Sadly.
NFC East:
A lot of people say this is the most competitive division in football year in and year out, and usually I agree. However, the NFC North has taken over that spot by leaps and bounds. The Redskins are possibly the worst team in the league and will be lucky to win 5 games. I'm not sure the Giants have what it takes to reach the .500 mark this year, either. They just seem tired and lifeless.
The Eagles will win the division, if their quarterback gets hurt. That's right; I think Vince Young will help Philly win more games than Michael Vick. Nothing against Vick, because the dude is a baller, but I'm never going to proclaim an injury prone quarterback who tapers off the last half of any given year to be conference champs. I'm going with Colin Cowherd; Dallas is going to win the division.
NFC North:
Top to bottom, this is a scary division. Chicago is the only team I'm not high on right now, with Minnesota being right behind. Everyone says I'm nuts, but I really feel like it's the breakout year for Detroit. That D-Line is straight up frightening. Ndamakong Suh is without a doubt the best player taken in the first round of the draft in 5 years. And if you believe the preseason can equate to regular season, Matthew Stafford is going to kill it. If his shoulder holds up all 16 games, they'll at least playoff bound. I really believe that.
Still, you can't pick against the Super Bowl champs. My only beef with Green Bay is people forget how close a lot of those games were. They were the come-back kids and it was a little on the ridiculous side.
NFC South:
Hey, this division looks pretty competitive too. The Panthers are turd sandwiches, but the other three teams all have legit playoff aspirations. I expect the Saints to have a great year, and I expect the Falcons to make wild-card. Tampa Bay has the chance to make something of themselves, but I think that's next year. Having such a young team (youngest in the NFL by average age, I believe) is going to hurt them more than most not having OTAs and pre-pre-season workouts.
NFC West:
Does it really matter who wins this division? They are awful, top to bottom. Trying to predict who wins it is like picking between which type of dog poop you're going to stick in a flaming bag to leave on the gym teacher's front porch.
I think Seattle will repeat as the winners of the division, simply because I feel they have the best coach. That's really all it comes down to for me here.
----------------------
Hope you guys enjoyed reading my picks. Feel free to comment with yours!
Here's my predictions for this upcoming season by division.
AFC East:
Miami is still down. They'll be lucky to get 6 wins. I actually think Buffalo is the better team at this point. Poor Miami Tuna fans.
The Pats are predicted to win the division with 12+ wins according to Vegas oddsmakers and ESPN talking heads, but I'm confident the Jets will win the division this year. I dunno why, but something about the Patriots just feels off this year. It's not the dropped balls in pre-season. It's just the signings and trades they've made. It smells somewhat desperate.
AFC North:
I'd like to predict the Steelers are going to win the division. Because they are. It's not just because I'm a fan. The difference between the Steelers and Ravens is the Steelers have a legit wide receiver core and the Ravens have Anquan Boldin. I don't want to take away from Boldin (toughest player in the NFL) but he's all they have. They lost their Mormon at tight end (oddly, to be replaced by another Mormon guy) and Derrick Mason is gone.
Cincinatti is going to be garbage this year. I feel bad for Andy Dalton, who I think could make a solid NFL quarterback. Coming in this season of all seasons and immediately being expected to change the franchise is near impossible, though.
I think people will need to pay attention to the Browns this year. Solid run game, and Colt McCoy is just a winner. Kid is seriously good. I think their sine wave of badness is about to swing back up. I genuinely think it's possible to are a 7-9, possibly 8-8 team this year. No joke.
AFC South:
Indianapolis has had a lock on this division since Peyton Manning got drafted. Thing is, he might miss games or at the very least parts of games due to his recovering neck. They are a 3-11 team with Painter or Collins under center.
That leaves the Titans, Jaguars and Texans. Of those teams, the Texans are the only ones who've demonstrated flashes of brilliance the last few seasons. Titans are running a new scheme too, so they won't be much of a threat. The Jags just lack any sort of cohesiveness. They haven't been a legit team since they made the playoffs a couple years back.
AFC West:
I think this is going to be the most interesting division this year. I don't know what I'm going to get out of any of the teams in it. They are all so wildly inconsistent. The only thing I feel safe with is proclaiming the Broncos to be the turds of that division this year (sorry to all my Denver fans). On paper, the Chargers should dominate. On paper.
I am going out on a limb and saying the Raiders are going to win the AFC West. Crazy, right? They were undefeated inside their own division last year, though. If they make it to .500, I think they've won the division. Sadly.
NFC East:
A lot of people say this is the most competitive division in football year in and year out, and usually I agree. However, the NFC North has taken over that spot by leaps and bounds. The Redskins are possibly the worst team in the league and will be lucky to win 5 games. I'm not sure the Giants have what it takes to reach the .500 mark this year, either. They just seem tired and lifeless.
The Eagles will win the division, if their quarterback gets hurt. That's right; I think Vince Young will help Philly win more games than Michael Vick. Nothing against Vick, because the dude is a baller, but I'm never going to proclaim an injury prone quarterback who tapers off the last half of any given year to be conference champs. I'm going with Colin Cowherd; Dallas is going to win the division.
NFC North:
Top to bottom, this is a scary division. Chicago is the only team I'm not high on right now, with Minnesota being right behind. Everyone says I'm nuts, but I really feel like it's the breakout year for Detroit. That D-Line is straight up frightening. Ndamakong Suh is without a doubt the best player taken in the first round of the draft in 5 years. And if you believe the preseason can equate to regular season, Matthew Stafford is going to kill it. If his shoulder holds up all 16 games, they'll at least playoff bound. I really believe that.
Still, you can't pick against the Super Bowl champs. My only beef with Green Bay is people forget how close a lot of those games were. They were the come-back kids and it was a little on the ridiculous side.
NFC South:
Hey, this division looks pretty competitive too. The Panthers are turd sandwiches, but the other three teams all have legit playoff aspirations. I expect the Saints to have a great year, and I expect the Falcons to make wild-card. Tampa Bay has the chance to make something of themselves, but I think that's next year. Having such a young team (youngest in the NFL by average age, I believe) is going to hurt them more than most not having OTAs and pre-pre-season workouts.
NFC West:
Does it really matter who wins this division? They are awful, top to bottom. Trying to predict who wins it is like picking between which type of dog poop you're going to stick in a flaming bag to leave on the gym teacher's front porch.
I think Seattle will repeat as the winners of the division, simply because I feel they have the best coach. That's really all it comes down to for me here.
----------------------
Hope you guys enjoyed reading my picks. Feel free to comment with yours!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)