It'd be cool to be Greek.

I'd love to sit around and philosophize all day. It's pretty much what I do already, but it'd be so much cooler if I was a public nuisance like the students of Socrates. That's something history tends to downplay, is he was criticized heavily in his own day for "corrupting the youth," indeed what he eventually was put to death for.

I'll be straightforward: this post is mostly so I can deal with my own thoughts. Come along for the ride if you want.

I used to laugh at the whole concept of a midlife crisis. It seemed so silly to me. Men get in their fifties, then basically lose their minds because they throw away everything that was important to them, uprooting their entire life. The whole idea wouldn't hang around if people didn't see it in every day life.

The stereotypes are usually pretty stupid. "Oh, dude has a Porsche and is over 50? Mid-life Crisis." No. That's just because any male with the means to do it would drive a nice car. Period. I can't think of a single person I know who is prudent enough to at the very least not desire some form of luxury car. That one is based in logic.

Wanting a sweet car is not a crisis. Throwing away the people who loved you is, and frankly that is the one which happens far too often.

There is a man I know and love and respect, and I think he's gone to the dark side. I think this iteration of his mid-life crisis (he's really been in one for a decade or longer, to be honest) is scary. He's radically altered his appearance, quit his business that he quit his original career to build, and is incapable of being in the moment to enjoy time with his family. These aren't just signs of a guy being unhappy with his life; they are signs of a man hiding an alternate life.

If this person has cheated on his wife or really in fact doesn't "love her anymore" as the rumor mill goes, then my entire concept of reality is shattered. His wife is easily one of the best women I've ever known, ever. His children are all good kids if a bit slow on the getting through life part. I don't know how that couldn't be his number one priority any more.

This man got caught up in being a health guru. I'm all for wanting others to live in a healthy manner and improve their lives, sure. It's frightening the ego-boost and self-gratification this guy started to feel doing this, though. If you hadn't figured out by now, I know this whole family really well. They are some of the only people I communicate with on a regular basis. I've personally witnessed the entire family together in the living room, watching TV (some sporting event, usually), chatting it up and he just checks out. Sits in his spot on the couch and texts people the whole time. In fact, the only thing he tends to add to the conversation is about what some "friend" of his somewhere else in the world thinks about that game's events. The rest of his family will have conversations about him while he is present and he is oblivious to it.

I think an intervention is in order. This is at one time a God-fearing man. I bet he'd tell you he still is, but actions speak louder than words. Sunday Christians piss me off. I feel I am closer to the divine the cold, bitter, alone man that I am on Sundays than people who go to church just so they can ignore all the people hurting in their lives the rest of the week.

Since I heard this whole rumor of trouble in paradise, I haven't been able to turn off my brain except during restless sleep. I've wondered if this will happen to me. I've seen it happen to so many otherwise good men. Will I turn 55 and suddenly be so angry life didn't turn out the way I wanted I throw a bunch of people under the bus to try and satisfy my ego? The worse thought is if I'll even have anyone in my life when that time comes around to even hurt.

This one really hits close to home, guys. I'm not sure this broodiness is going to leave me any time soon. Only reason I mention that is because I'll be extra emo and analyze every little thing to be skewed against me for a bit. Example: Was planning to ask a girl in my only class Tues/Thurs to lunch afterwards, but she was quick to get out the door and never responded to my text afterward. Something this innocuous is already causing panic attacks. Let's all hope this situation ends up resolving itself in a way that doesn't cause a splintered family.