A week later and a year older

First off, sorry for not having anything at all last week. There's a myriad of reasons, the biggest probably being Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Stupid video games sucking away my soul.

The next biggest reason? I get seasonal depression real bad, and I think the catalyst for that is my birthday. Which happens to be today. That's right; I was born November 14th, 1985. Why is November 14th a funny day to have a birthday? Well let's do some basic math. Birthdays inherently involve being born, which means conception had to happen... So 9 months prior to November? We get February. Tee hee hee, my dad had a very good Valentine's Day in '85.

Anywho, I know most people find birthdays to be a reason to celebrate. It's not that I don't TRY to. Maybe that's part of the problem? I don't know. I just know I feel lonelier on my birthday than any other day of the year. It's a day I feel like people should say hi at the very least, and yet I usually sit alone in my house crying. I try every year to do something to bring me out of that funk and it just never works. Last year, I went mini-golfing with some friends and none of those people I even keep in contact anymore (though not from lack of trying on my part, trust me.) This year, I had a "party" on Saturday. Out of the 40 or so people I contacted, maybe 10 responded, and 4 showed up (a 5th would have but he's sick, so I wish him well. The flu sucks, especially when it's this cold outside.) 2 of those 4 were there for maybe 10 minutes just to say hi.

Now I don't want to mitigate what it means to me that these friends actually showed up. It means a lot, and they've been on my mind pretty much every second since. It's still very telling that I live literally across the street from campus, walking distance from a place everyone goes to every day, and couldn't get more than 4 "friends" to show up for my birthday. I know a lot of people I feel like I'm on friendly terms with drive past my house daily. Is it really that much of a hassle to say hello and offer any sort of message that conveys the meaning "I care about you!"?

Blah. Time to go shoot some more russians.  We'll talk football later this week.