This is why we can't have nice things.

I feel like my patience as a gamer is completely gone. I have none at all any more when it comes to certain types of games. First person shooters, especially, are not the type of thing I will display any sort of patience toward. The reason being the genre is extremely limited, and if it fails on some basic things it really doesn't matter how "inventive" the act of running and shooting other enemies are.

I bought "Gotham City Imposters" last week, and was really happy with it because of the art aesthetic and general silliness of the presentation. Then I tried playing it. Rage immediately set in.

Fun thing about playing games through steam: I can tell how long I've had a title open for. In this case, two hours. I can also tell you in that two hours, I've maybe played three total matches and only one of them was completely full while the others were both lopsided with 4 on one team and 2 on the other. The rest of the time was spent searching for a match.

That's right. The matchmaking process takes significantly longer than the actual play time.

This is criminal. I want to go to that dev team and slap every single last person who worked on this game in the face. They failed the single most basic need of every successful video game: playability. If you can't utilize the verb signifying the act of using the product, you failed. You cannot sit and play, because most of the time is spent sitting and waiting. Doesn't matter how much "fun" the actual gameplay is if the player can never really access it in a reliable way. In fact, knowing there are some fun, inventive things in the gameplay makes me hate this game even more.

So this review, I am not going to tell you about the graphics, the sound, the neat features and any of that. In fact, I feel I would lack journalistic integrity if I commented on the contents of this game. It is a waste of your time to read about features you can only ever dream about playing, right?

Gotham City Imposters gets a Not Playable out of 10. The devs have already released a statement saying they plan on a lot of "cool features" in the upcoming "free DLC" next month, which include (get this!) improved matchmaking, joining into matches already in progress, and the ability to mute players.

That is not DLC. Those are basic gameplay features required to create an enjoyable experience. You've already lost me, Monolith. Trying to tell me your game update to gameplay problems is "free DLC" rather than a bug fixing patch AND it's going to take an entire month from the date of launch, problems any good video game developer would have encountered and fixed with any sort of playtesting whatsoever, makes me think you're a team of incompetent developers.